There is no set of rules that can guarantee you will absolutely have a healthy relationship. Chemistry is important; it's one of the most important things when you are looking for a partner, but it's certainly not everything. However, understanding what the other party wants and desires is of vital importance for a healthy and successful relationship.
For the success of a heterosexual relationship, it is important that both women and men know what the other is looking for and needs. However, for this article, we look into what women want in men.
What Women Want in Men
Women wait, don't go; this article is not just for men. A lot of women have difficulty expressing what they want and need. I was one of those. I didn't know how to word my feelings and needs properly, not even to myself. So, I hope that this will help you understand yourself better.
For this article, I went on a quest around the internet, asking women what they wanted and needed from their men in a relationship. I asked women on Reddit, Qura, and other websites. I also looked into some research, and here are my findings.
1. Loyalty
According to research, men have a higher sexual drive and are more likely to cheat than women (1) (2). That's not to say that all men are like that, but the fact that this is a thing makes women wary.
A woman wants a man who would be 100% loyal, as in, he won't even think about looking at other women, not in front of her and not behind her back either.
Loyalty extends to watching porn as well. I remember I heard a YouTuber describing porn as if it were like watching sports. Meaning that watching porn for men is not such a big deal. But it's different for women; a lot of women view watching porn as straight out cheating. It affects their self-esteem and makes them feel lacking.
Being loyal to your woman is important if you are looking for a healthy relationship.
2. Strength and Security
Another quality that almost all the women mentioned is strength. A woman wants a man who is strong. A man who is able to protect her, one she can rely on when things go hard, who can take things into his hands when she is not collected and strong enough.
Security is tied closely to strength; if you are strong enough, then your woman will feel more secure with you. Security is also related to loyalty; if your eyes follow every good-looking woman on the street, your woman won't feel secure with you.
3. Confidence
Many of the women who answered said that confidence is an important quality they look for. There is a hypothesis that says fertile women prefer men who are more masculine (3). If there is any truth to that, then it will explain to some extent why women prefer confidence. Many women view more confident men as masculine. I believe that women are more keen to trust a man who is confident in himself.
For that, as a man, if you have issues with confidence, then that is something to work on, as second-guessing yourself often might lead to a less healthy relationship.
4. Kindness
A quality that women appreciate much in a man is kindness. Women want men that are truly and genuinely kind. Kind to them, to their kids, their parents, and everyone. Don't mix that between being good; many people are good but not necessarily kind.
5. Humor
One of the women who answered said that she doesn't know any man with a sense of humor who isn't in a relationship. Women gravitate towards men who have a nice sense of humor, such as a man who can make her laugh or smile even when she doesn't feel like it.
6. Be Into Her
I assume that's a given, but some women stated that they want their men to be really into them. Which means simply liking her or loving her is not enough. Show her by words and actions how much you truly love her and how much you are into her.
7. Respect her
Women value respect, and they value a man who wouldn't just respect them but who would also respect her family.
8. Listen
When your woman wants to talk, even if it is about trivial things, listen to her. And I don't mean just engage your sense of hearing. But, actually listen to what she is saying, and show her that you are listening by interacting with what she is saying to you.
I'm not a great talker; in fact, I'm quiet most of the time, and I feel awkward whenever I have to talk to people because I'm not so eloquent and good at it. But, when I felt that my husband liked listening to me, I wanted to talk to him more and more. I shared literally everything with him, and if I didn't have anything to say, I would find something. Those little talks amounted to some of the best of our memories. So, listen to your woman and also talk to her.
9. Be Patient
Women tend to be more emotional than men, or, in better words, they tend to be more expressive of their feelings (4). Because of that, it is normal that they might sometimes express their frustration and upset by crying or raising their voices. If that happens, be patient with her.
READ MODE: How to Control Your Temper in a Relationship.
10. Show Her That You Care
Always ask about her; how is she feeling? If she is okay, does she need any help? Does she want to talk? Hold her when she needs it, and when she doesn't, appreciate the little things she does. All of this goes a long way toward showing her that you truly care about her.
The Takeaway
There is no magical recipe that will ensure you have a good and healthy relationship with your partner. However, trying to know more about what the other usually wants and needs can help you improve your relationship. For that, it's important for men and women in heterosexual relationships to understand, or at least try to understand, what the other generally wants in them.
References and Citations
Muñoz García, A., Gil-Gómez de Liaño, B., & Pascual-Ezama, D. (2021). Gender Differences in Individual Dishonesty Profiles. Frontiers in psychology, 12, 728115.
https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.728115 https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Fbul0000366
Fischer, Agneta & LaFrance, Marianne. (2015). What Drives the Smile and the Tear: Why Women Are More Emotionally Expressive Than Men. Emotion Review. 7. 22-29. 10.1177/1754073914544406.
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